Below is a Black Recovery excerpt from a section titled The Black Identity – A Crucial Sidenote. An exceprt about how restoring one’s identity, specifically the Black identity, is an essential step along the journey of Spiritual Recovery.
For African Americans, holding onto the ideas and beliefs of others regarding our identity has been a misguided internal battle that was especially detrimental to me.
“…the Negro is a sort of seventh son, born with a veil, and gifted with second-sight in this American world, – a world which yields him no true self-consciousness, but only lets him see himself through the revelation of the other world. It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his twoness, – an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.”
Black History p. 5
“The history of the American Negro is the history of this strife, – this longing to attain self-conscious manhood, to merge his double self into a better and truer self. In this merging he wishes neither of the old selves to be lost. He would not Africanize America, for America has too much to teach the world and Africa. He would not bleach his Negro soul in a flood of white Americanism, for he knows that Negro blood has a message for the world. He simply wishes to make it possible for a man to be both a Negro and an American, without being cursed and spit upon by his fellows, without having the doors of Opportunity closed roughly in his face.”
Black History p. 5
When individuals enter Spiritual Recovery fellowships as newcomers, they are often told to listen until they hear their story in order to relate to the hope and solutions offered and to find camaraderie with their fellows. “Hearing your story” is also the suggested route to finding a sponsor to guide them through the 12-Step Solution.
After I shared at a meeting one day, a woman came up to me and gave me a recording to listen to of a Black woman who led a Spiritual breakfast meeting at an AA convention. This Black woman spoke of having a white sponsor from England (I believe) and the Black woman was giving her soon to be sponsor all of these excuses as to why she could not get sober – and slavery was mentioned.
The white woman responded by asking Who do you know that’s a slave? To which the Black woman answered, Nobody, and the white woman continued with, Right, well until you do I don’t want to hear another word about it. Or something of the sort.
The sharing of this CD helped me at the time by opening my mind to setting aside the differences I perceived (often sharing myself about being the only Black person in the room no matter the meeting location or the time of day) and instead sharing in the similarities. I was moving closer to the Solution I needed and so desperately wanted.
Having said that, if that sponsor’s question was phrased “Who do you know today that’s still affected by slavery?” I know my response would not be “nobody.”
The results of looking outward through life in the hopes of understanding, defining, and healing that which lies within each of us is, in fact, a human problem commonly experienced in many of today’s societies.
“The main reason the answers we seek to fill our emptiness are so difficult for most of us to find is that we do not know where to look. Since we live in a materially and outwardly oriented society, most of us naturally look outside themselves and their past with shame. The historical education of Negro youths consisted in a denigration of their past, whether it be as African, bondsman, or newly freed citizen.”
Black History p. 1
The results of the truths in the above quotes from many decades ago trickled right down to my life, sitting on Gloria’s couch using the fellowship weapons and retorts so embedded in my brain to combat my elder’s Spiritual Truths she so graciously and patiently was sharing with me…for free!
And the Solution to combating my personal acceptance of the values of the larger AA society began with the restoration of my identity.
“Negroes first had to create a new understanding of who they were and what their relationship was to American society and history.”
Black History p. 1
To read more, order your copy of Black Recovery here.
